Stormy Weather

I never cease to be fully amazed at how God puts me in the place He wills me to be, when I let Him. I love it when I can be witness to pieces of the puzzle...that REALLY big, REALLY important puzzle called Life...just fall perfectly into place. I love the feeling of coming through a storm and seeing the rainbow, both literally and figuratively. I so rejoice in looking back at the storms of life and being able to see how God was at work in every second of every day, even those days when the wind was really howling and I couldn't see Him or hear His gentle voice...He was so close and He was working.

I feel like I've recently come out of the rain, and I can see how He's been working. And now, praise God, He's allowing me to share my experiences to, hopefully, help others who are in the midst of a storm. I love the bible study I'm doing, it is speaking to me in HUGE ways...I love the group of ladies who are in the study with me. We are a group from the church that we used to attend. Some of the ladies have also left because of the man who is acting as pastor there, and some are still attending but have not escaped the pain that all of this has caused. We're kind of a bruised and battered little lot! :) However, we love each other...I call them my church family, but it was described to me more adequately the other day as my faith family...I love that. My faith family is vast...so many people are a part of that family. I'm in good company there.

Anyway, back to the study...God is working on my heart in big ways through this. He's showing me that I continue to need to LET GO of all that has happened in the past, I need to forgive. I need to forgive for my benefit and for the benefit of my family...not for the benefit of the people that hurt me. Love thine enemies is all inclusive...like it or not. I don't get to pick and choose. Darn it. There is a lot I need to work through...just when I think I've tackled one issue another comes popping up out of no where, but I think He's revealing my heart to me at a rate that He knows I can handle. It's amazing what I've buried in there! He is also using this study to, I believe, give me some wisdom in helping others. Timely advice, right when I need it to offer to others...He's so awesome.

Last week, a friend instant messaged me with a cry for help...she's struggling. Really, really struggling. I'm struggling FOR her. I just don't quite get why God can't intervene for her and just let ONE thing go right for her family. Actually, I can find myself getting just a little ticked at Him on her behalf. However, I just know down deep in my heart that God is right here, in the midst of the yuckiness of life. I believe that He's not abandoned anyone. I know because I know that He's been with me every second in the last year...even when I didn't quite feel Him. I know that He's with my friend too...and I know that someday she's going to get through this stormy time and she's going to see an awesome, brilliant rainbow.

So, here's what He showed me this week...via Beth Moore's "A Woman's Heart"...We are dealing with the Israelites, wandering in the desert, looking for a home. I can't imagine...tents, snakes, scorpions, the same food everyday...no chocolate. ICK! So, God wishes to dwell among them...He longs to be close to them, in a real, physical way. So amazing. He commands them to build a tabernacle, so they begin that process with God's instruction. He asks them to bring an offering...of their own free will, but He asks for specific items the things needed to build this Tabernacle. Hmmm...people in a desert, but God wants them to bring gold, silver, woven fine linens...what??? "The Lord your God has been with you, and you have not lacked anything." Deut. 2:7 When they were leaving Egypt, God told the Israelites to plunder the Egyptians...to take EVERYTHING. So, He had a plan...hmmm... God provided...His glory manifested in His provision. He gave them everything they needed, down to the last flake of manna. He answered their complaints for meat by sending flocks of birds to the camp each evening...they griped, He provided. Beth says, "He gave not because of their faithfulness but because of His faithfulness." They weren't such amazing people, they were petty and whiny, and probably incredibly stinky...but He LOVED THEM!! Whew! So happy to hear that perfection isn't required, aren't you? He just loves us, we aren't required to DO anything to be the objects of his affection.

So, they were compelled by the love of their God, and they brought the offering, every morning...until finally God had too much! He asked them to stop bringing the offering. See what love does? Wow. They wanted God to dwell among them, remember the Holy Spirit wasn't present at this point in time. God was either with them or He was far away...seemingly unreachable. So, they wanted the Tabernacle, they wanted it pretty badly. Beth suggests that the Israelites knew the correlation between their willingness to prepare for God's presence and His desire to make evident His presence...they were expecting something big. They were probably praying and sacrificing...just waiting for the Lord to dwell among them. They BELIEVED He was coming to them. How often do we pray for something to happen... Beth says, "How often we expect big things from God without preparing for big things from Him!" So true. I think that all too often, if the "big thing" isn't exactly what we asked for, perhaps we don't recognize it as being of Him. Sometimes I fight what He is giving me because it's not exactly what I asked for...even though I'm sure that the solution He offers is so much better for me...in the long run. Just like kids...Mason would eat nothing but candy every day if I let him. Sometimes I know he just thinks I get some crazy kick out of saying no to candy. However, I know the pain of cavities and I want him to grow and be healthy. So I give him an apple instead, not what he asked for, but good and SO much better for him in the long run!

Here's the question that haunts me. Why do I so often fight being a part of His plan, in order to carry out my own agenda?? The Israelites gave freely, when they had so little because they knew that what they gave would be a HUGE part of God's plan to be with them. Oh, how I wish I would be that wise all of the time! I know that more often than not, I fight Him. I do it my way...and I end up unhappy for it. Sometimes His way just seems too hard. It seems too hard to pray, trust, pray, trust...and then NOTHING happens. Meanwhile, like what my friend is experiencing right now, the world hurls heartache after heartache your way. So are we just supposed to keep being the most faithful follower we can be when we are wading through the muck of the world? I Peter 4:19 says, "Those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful creator and continue to do good." So, the answer is yes. Not the easiest pill to swallow, but the pay off is priceless.

We studied the idea of trial by fire this week too...how we must build our lives with the things that last, like gold and not temporal things like wood or hay...so that when we go through the fire will will come through with eternal rewards. Beth compares that fire to the trials of life...our suffering in life. She says that only we can decide how we let the fires of life affect us...will they burn us alive or will we lay them at the altar and let God protect us through the fire. His will is for us to run to Him. After all, He sent His Son...He sent Him to DIE for US. He willed us to be with Him forever, and He sent Jesus to bear the scars so that we can walk through the fires of life sanctified and unscathed.

The Israelites are ready to help, some have been specially gifted with talents that will aide inthe building of the Tabernacle, they are ready...they are waiting. Then Moses goes up the mountain to be with God. He is gone 40 days while God is giving Him the tablets with the Commandments (can't help but see Charleton Hesston with his creepy white hair in my mind!) These people who have seen such amazing miracles performed right before them...they get antsy. They begin asking Aaron when or if Moses is ever going to return...they whine, they are good at whining, just like me!! God is still close, but they decide they need something tangible, so they ask Aaron to fashion a golden calf. They just need something physical to worship. They need to see some progress...Oops. How often do we do something similar...we build an idol out of something tangible...our church, our money, our job...even our spouses. We need something tangible, something we can control, something we can have power over. Oops. God gets pretty ticked. He tells Moses to get his hiney back down to the people because they have corrupted themselves. Not good, not good at all. I'll skip some of what happens, but there is quite a bit of blood involved. God's not happy.

I Corinthians 10:1-13 explains that all of this was recorded as an example for us...to remind us to resist our own evil desires. It also warns us against becoming too comfortable...it's when we start thinking we have it all figured out that we will stumble in our faith. My favorite is verse 13, The Message version says this,

"No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond

the course of what others have had to face.

All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit;

he’ll always be there to help you come through it."

What comfort! First of all, others have been through it, misery LOVES company! Second of all, God will not let us down! I believe this with all my heart, people will fail you (oh my, will they, can I get an amen!?!) but God will not! Thirdly, He won't push us past our limits...now, I have to say that there are times in my life when I think that God gives me too much credit. Sometimes when life is really heavy, I think that He thinks I can handle more than I can. However, here I am, living to tell about it! I guess He knows me better than I know myself. Perhaps that's because He made me. Lastly and most importantly, He'll be there. He'll help us through it...other versions say he never leaves us without an escape. He already knew the mess we got ourselves into, and He loves us enough to offer us an escape. Just like a parent...I know that when my kids mess up, I'm always looking for a way to help them out of the mess with the least pain possible. And He loves us so much more than I could ever imagine loving Madison and Mason. How amazing is that??? He just wants to shelter us in the storm and get us to the rainbow.

I have more to share...the taped session with Beth Moore that we watched on Friday was earth-shaking for me! I was taking notes like my life depended on it. My friend who was sitting beside me probably thought there was a test at the end or something! It was just too good, I want to share...but I'll save that for another post.

Blessings!
Melissa