Angels at the Wheel

Yesterday was a crazy day. The Kansas wind was insane and the evening schedule matched perfectly. I had an eye appointment at 4:30 out on Webb road, Mason had flag football practice in Cheney at 5:30 and we had parent/teacher conferences at 6. I decided that I felt confident enough to drive myself out to my appointment. I have driven into Wichita a few times since my transplant, but never to the east side. Danny usually comes home early from work and drives me out. I just decided I could do it. Danny kept insisting that he would just come home and get me. He kept saying I didn't need to stress about driving out there. I was a tad bit indignant and told him I'd be fine. So, I picked up the kids from school and off we went.

Let me set the stage for you...first of all, I was going in to get my new contact, my current contact is painful and they are fitting me with a new one that promises better comfort and vision. For this reason, I had one contact in my right eye and no correction in my left...driving one-eyed basically. The kids were all wound up telling me about school. Mason was trying to tell me everything he knows about Star Wars (his new obsession even though he's never seen any of the movies!). They were both digging through the bag of snacks I had packed for them. Mason was kicking the back of Madison's chair, and she was yelling at him to stop. Meanwhile, I was gripping the wheel just trying to hold my pretty black mini-van on the road as we headed out through the roaring Kansas wind. Do you have a clear picture here? Have I accurately foreshadowed the disaster that is about to unveil itself?

The first leg of the drive went well, I made it to the west side of Wichita with very little stress. And then I hit the area of Kellogg and Ridge...people were darting in and out of the lanes and I began to feel it...panic. What in the world was I doing? Coming into Wichita at the start of rush hour? What had I done. RETREAT! I had come this far, so I wasn't turning back now...call it bravery or stupidity. I know which I would pick!

I decided to try to get on 235 off of Kellogg...big mistake...HUGE mistake. A long line of people piled in behind me as I tried to get on to quite possibly one of the toughest and most dangerous exits in all of Wichita. Good thinkin', Melissa! Madison was trying to help me watch...good, resting our safety on the judgement of an eleven-year-old. It was awful, all I could think of was where I could pull off the road safely to first throw up and then call Danny to come rescue us. We managed to get onto 235 and I placed myself in the right lane. I looked down and my knuckles were white...I was holding the wheel so hard, and I couldn't let go. Then I heard it, "I'm here, we've got this." I realized right then that I was trying to do it alone, I hadn't once asked for God's help...then I prayed, "Please God, I'm scared. Drive this van safely to my destination. Place your angels around us and keep us safe." Now, I don't know if any of you know what it feels like to be quite literally touched by God, but I do. Instantly, my grip loosened, the tension in my body eased and the queasiness in my stomach went away. My heart rate returned to normal and I knew I'd be ok. I felt a warm sense of peace just wash over me. It was amazing. I really, honestly am not sure of how the rest of the trip to the office went. I truly believe that God was driving. All I needed to do was ask, He was at the ready.

I was, of course, protected by those angels from the moment I left my driveway. However, I think God allowed me to do it myself for a while. He longed for me to call on Him, and as soon as I did, He offered me the relief I needed. I think it was also a reminder for me that God placed Danny as my head...he's my voice of reason. So often, I think that I can do things and Danny's just being overprotective. I know my safety is always at the forefront of his decisions for me...but sometimes, like a stubborn child, I think he's just being silly! I think, "Give me some freedom, I am not a child! Geesh!" I should have listened to him and taken the help he offered. Just as my relationship with God is more fulfilling when I submit to His will for me. My life and my relationship with Danny is so much better when I listen to his counsel and take into account that he loves me and wants what is best for me.

What a wonderful reminder that God has given me a loving and wise man as my husband. Also, that God is always there, all I have to do is call on His name.

We made it there and back (following Danny closely in his truck on the way home) safely. I, however, won't be driving to the east side of Wichita at rush hour again for a while. As a side note, we only made it back for about 20 minutes of Mason's practice and we were late to the conference... I ended up having to have a small growth of skin removed from my eye (something fairly normal post surgery) and the doctor's office was running behind due to being short staffed. God has such a sense of humor, and He continues to find such creative ways to teach me to rest in His timing... Patience, Lord, I get it patience!

Blessings,
Melissa