Make-believe Grandma, Real Love

My cell phone rang at 10:30 last night...whenever that happens, my initial reaction is panic. Usually I go look and it's some random telemarketing call or a wrong number. Not last night, it was my sister. She was calling to let me know that a person I've known my entire life had gone to Heaven. Her name was Alma...I grew up calling her my make-believe grandma. She and her husband and their daughter lived behind my parent's house, our backyards ran into each other. They were in their 70's when I was a baby. My grandparents lived in Pratt, so we didn't see them all the time. We adopted Frank and Alma as our own. I can still hear Frank proudly telling how I asked him one day if he could be my make believe grandpa. He, of course, accepted the offer. He told that story all of the time, he loved the idea of extra grandkids, I guess.

Frank went to be with Jesus several years ago, he died the year after Danny and I were married. I still am so grateful they both knew Danny. We asked them to sit with the grandparents at our wedding, they were thrilled. Alma lived to be 102 years old. She was a gorgeous woman...she had the most delicate features and the most loving, unjudgemental eyes...and she made the best cookies ever. I think my sister and I would smell them across the backyard and make our way to her kitchen every time. We didn't really go just for the cookies though, we went for the extra love she always had to give. Her love spilled over to the next generation, my kids will miss her too. Madison and Mason both got to know her, I feel very blessed in that. Madison loved Alma especially, she spent more time with her because we still attended church there when Madison was little. Madison has quilts that Alma made for her baby dolls...those will be even more precious now.

When I heard that she had died, my initial reaction was anger...at myself and at the situation...in fact, I threw my phone across the living room...not something I do often. I wish I would have known that she was getting that bad...I wish I had one more chance to tell her I love her. I wish I hadn't let the busyness of life keep me from having another visit. I wish... However, as I laid in bed well into the night thinking about her and remembering her, I realized that I didn't have to regret the fact that I hadn't seen her in a while. She knew how I felt about her...I never, ever, left a visit with her without whispering, "I love you, Alma" in her ear... I know she knows my heart. I know that every single memory I have of her is sweet. I have SO many memories of her. She was always so happy to hear me sing. She and Frank never missed one of my concerts...they even came to my college concerts at Friends. I remember that every time Frank would see me he'd hug me and say, "How's our girl?" And Alma would smile her timid but beautiful smile and hug me so tight. I always knew they were proud of me...no matter what. I would go over, even as a teenager, and just sit with them in their kitchen. If they were anywhere close to meal time, I would stay and eat with them...they would have it no other way. My dad and Frank always had a friendly garden competition...it was always a race to see who'd have the first ripe tomato of the season. My dad always accused Frank of singing to his tomatoes to get them to ripen faster! :) Alma and LouAnn were always baking something and would come to our back door quite often with a plate of something they had created and wanted to share. Their real motive was not to fatten us up, but really to visit, to see how we were doing. I can still smell their house...I can feel their hugs...I can hear their sweet voices...I can imagine myself sitting on the swing in their tree, just being there.

I am so sad that Alma is gone...but all I could picture in my mind last night was the reunion that she and Frank were having that very moment. She missed him so much...and I'm sure he missed her. They were quite the couple, and I know they are happy beyond words now. Alma was living in a body that was wearing out and had many limitations. She had lost most of her vision and I know she can see with perfect eyes today. She was in congestive heart failure and she was struggling with oxygen levels...she breathes easy now.

I am sad for her family. I am sad for their daughter, LouAnn, she has lived with them her whole life. My heart hurts for her loss...and for their entire family...and for my family who considered her as family. My parents were so good to her, they took care of her like they would have their own mother. She knew she was loved, no doubt there.

As I think of Frank and Alma, I can't help but think that I hope I can live my life in a way that when I'm gone, all people remember of me is how I loved. I hope I leave a legacy of love...they loved and were loved in return. I'm sure they gave much more than they ever got...but I'm also confident that they were ok with it being that way. I hope they know how much they did for me...I hope they know that they were a huge part of the person I am today. They were the living examples of God's love to me...they took me for who I was and only wanted to be loved in return. I am blessed that I got to grow up being their neighbor, their friend and their make-believe granddaughter. I hope I can continue to make them proud.

Go hug someone you haven't seen in a while...do it today.

Blessings,

Melissa