In the Cleft of the Rock

Well, so much for thinking that things would slow down this last week. Once again, the pace was a little furious, but full of good and lovely things. I'm excited about the upcoming week, God is putting people in my path...and I'm so excited about it. I have FOUR, count 'em, FOUR lunch dates this coming week...one with one of my bestest friends in the world and her hubs, they are in town this weekend...one with a friend who is new, but I already love her and can't wait to get to know her...and the other two with friends who are walking life every day beside me...holding hands through the storms and basking in the sun! We just had an awesome Kyrie Foundation board of directors meeting yesterday, and I'm just full to overflowing with the outward evidence of God's glory. My heart is also heavy for those around me that are experiencing pain, but I can't help but wait with anxious and hopeful anticipation to see the glory that shines in their lives as well. Things are gonna be so great, I just know it.



Ok, so I want to just finish my thoughts from last week's bible study...the rest of the story, if you will!



So, the story picks up in Exodus 33...the Israelites have sinned BIG against God by building a golden calf. He is ticked. God tells Moses to take the people and GO...and He's not going to go with them this time. Beth Moore related it to an angered mother. You know, we've all heard it or said it..."If you know what's good for you, you will go to your room and get out of my face!" In verse 5 God says, "If I were to go with you, even for a moment, I might destroy you!" YOWZA!! Can you imagine, God's fire is burning so hot against them, He might simply consume them with fire and destroy them if they were to draw near. As a mom, I can relate. The other night my parents were here for dinner and Mason was a monster! He was just naughty and I was so mad at him. When my parents left, I said, "Mason Wesley, if you know what's good for you...you will just go to your room where I can't see you, I do NOT want to look at you right now. I love you, but I do NOT like you right now, son!" Mad, I was M-A-D! Beyond the anger, though, I was hurt. I see my children's behavior and obedience as a sign of their love and respect for me. So, when it is lacking in such an obvious way, it hurts me. Oh my, I cannot imagine how much I must hurt God on a regular basis...I'm sure there are times in my life when He would like to say, "Girl, step away before I destroy you!" I find it hard to believe that the God who created the heavens and the earth would allow Himself to be affected in such a big way by the people He made out of dirt, but He does. Beth pointed out that although God is omniscient, He is also infinite. He does not allow himself to be bound by anything. This means that He allows himself to be affected by what we do! He already knows the outcome, but that doesn't keep Him from allowing Himself to be part of the process! He feels the affect of our sin, it hurts Him deeply. I'm so blessed because Jesus came and opened the door for me to repent and fall immediately into the graceful arms of a Father who loves me, even when I'm a brat. And the Israelites had that same graceful Father that we do today.

Chapter 33 continues to explain how Moses would go outside the camp of the people, quite a ways away, and he would meet there with God. The people would watch as Moses would go inside the tent and a pillar of cloud would come down and stay at the entrance of the tent while God spoke with Moses. Verse 11 says, "God would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend." Can you imagine? Like a friend...intimate, honest, safe...a friend. I know how I am with my friends, brutally honest with each other and we talk about EvErYtHiNg...even the ugly stuff. I don't know for sure how I'd feel about talking with God like that...but why not? He already knows ALL the dirt. I have tried to approach God this way in prayer more in the last year. I've always thought that I had to have the "right words" when praying...that if I did it wrong, I could potentially bring destruction down on all of mankind! Ok, maybe that's extreme, but now that I try to just converse with God, it's amazing how I am able to hear Him, feel Him, to know Him intimately. I'm in a state of constant dialogue with Him all day long.

Moses is anxiety ridden...He is pretty uptight about how he is going to proceed with these people in the wilderness. He says to God in verses 12 and 13, "You have been telling me, 'Lead these people,' but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, 'I know you by name and you have found favor with me.' If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people." I can relate with Moses...I like to know the plan. I can spiral into a full out panic attack if I'm unsure of an outcome...or if I'm afraid of being alone in a situation. God is so full of grace, He says to Moses, "My presence will go with you and I will give you rest." In some translations it reads "I will dispel your anxiety." Wow...like a warm blanket, a cool refreshing rain...a comforting hug. God reminds Moses that He will be with him. God just gets us, He knows that we need to know we'll have someone on our team. He created us as beings that need companionship...fellowship. Danny and I have certainly learned this lesson in the last year. When the comfort of sitting in a pew every Sunday beside friends was taken out of our lives, we had to fill it with the joy of seeking out relationship with God and with our fellow followers of Christ. It was scary and uncomfortable, but along the way God was constantly with us. Beth points out that we must be cautious not to confuse our need for people with our need for God. He must come first...always. A lesson that's definitely been cemented for me. God, family...and all the rest, that's how things fall in order of importance for me.

Back to Moses...He tells God that if He doesn't go with them, there will be no way for people to know that the Israelites are a people set apart by God. How else are they gonna know we are special?? So God reassures Him that He will do the very thing he asks because Moses has found favor with the Lord. Then in a very bold statement Moses asks God to SHOW him His glory! In other words, He'd like to see proof. In verses 19 and 20, God replies "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But, you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live." He tells Moses to stand in the cleft of the rock. He explains that He will cover Moses' face with His hand as He passes by, and when He has passed by and it is safe to look, Moses will see God's back. Hmmm...so Moses stood there in the cleft of the rock, where he was safe. The Lord passed by him proclaiming His glory as He passed, and all the while protecting, shielding Moses from certain death. Now, I've read this passage before and never thought much about it. Beth Moore explained it this way...what if during those really hard, dark times of life. When the storms are raging. When disappointment after disappointment seem to pile on top of one another. When it seems that God is so far away. When we find ourselves thinking that He must have forgotten about me, certainly He wouldn't allow all of this to happen if He was near...I don't see Him anywhere! What if...just imagine...what if He has placed us securely in the cleft of the rock, what if He's so close to us that He must cover our eyes to shield us from looking upon His face. What if He keeps our eyes shielded and protected while He guards us during the storm, and it's not until He has passed by and we can see His back and realize He was there...He was with us all along.

This struck me so profoundly...mostly because I think I caught a glimpse of His back just recently. I knew in my heart through the last year that He was here with us, but there were times that my head told me differently. There were days when I simply cried out asking Him "WHY?" I didn't understand why He was allowing us to go through such a horrible time and to suffer so much hurt, when we were standing solidly on His truth! I didn't get it...until now. I can look back today and see that He was at work...He's always at work. He never leaves, sometimes we move away from Him so far we can't see Him. And sometimes He is so close to us, sheltering and protecting, that we can't see Him until the storm has passed and we catch a glimpse of His back as He steps away. Sigh......I love the thought of that. It washes over me like a cool breeze on a summer's day. He offers nothing but love, peace, grace, protection, security, an escape...

God is always about the business of showing us His glory. He created us and gave us the gift of free will in order to allow us to choose Him and prove His glory. I think that sometimes I choose NOT to see it. Sometimes it's easier to be angry about what is happening than to see the glory in the details. Sometimes God's glory is easy to see and impossible to miss, like in a gorgeous sunrise or in the birth of a healthy, beautiful child. It's right there, blazingly apparent, unquestionable. Sometimes though, His glory is a little more painful and we have to look deeper to see it...for instance, in using the difficulty of my eye surgery and the pain of losing our church home to draw us closer to Him, to force me to reevaluate my place as a wife and mother and allowing me the chance to form bonds of friendship that are built by Him...unbreakable. By turning the loss of a precious child into the formation of an organization that will save many families from suffering the same sort of loss and has inspired so much good. By turning the loss of a job into precious, priceless time spent with family. Sometimes it hurts and sometimes it doesn't, but God's glory is always, always, always good. He doesn't cause the pain, but He can certainly turn that pain into a glorious goodness that we would never have fathomed.

And at the very root of our existence is the undeserved and unequaled love of the Father. He just loves us. So, whether you are in the cleft of the rock or basking in the sunshine...always remember that Father, Abba, Daddy, Papa...whatever you call Him...He is crazy in love with you!

Blessings!
Melissa